Saturday, March 10, 2012

Another item on my wish list

It's happened again.

I now have a new course I want to add to my list of things I want to do in life. This blog is about nonviolent communication but also about my other experiences in life and it has been very clear to me for some time that the same basic truths are reiterated in many different packages. Kindness, conscience, altruism, empathy, knowing yourself, feeling you contribute to others, the power of trust, having a sense of meaning, abundance are all themes that are repeated again and again in all the different sources I have consulted on well being and happiness. My newest find is a company called 6 seconds. Someone posted an article from one of their founders on Facebook and it resonated enough with me to encourage me to check out their work:

I like their clear, concise way of presenting such an important topic as emotional intelligence (know yourself, choose yourself and give yourself).

Adding to my list of things to do is all about choosing myself. Investing in my own education has never been something I have regretted. My grandparents who are in their 80ties have often told me they have at least 15 years of things they would like to do. They may not achieve everything they want but they have achieved many of them. I am still amazed that every time I see them they can surprise me with a new story about their life experiences.  (amazing that in their youth news was spread by a young boy going to the center of town and drumming to alert everyone to come get the news)

I am putting it out there that another one of my wish list items is visiting Belize and then the trans-siberian train.    I also want to go to the most remote island in the world a place called Tristan de Cunha. (Pierre says this definitely proves that I am in fact marginal as some very wonderful caring non marginal people have called me recently)      

Which brings me to the topic of today's blog. Today I want to practice the art of accepting things exactly as they are. There are both wonderful and scary feelings to every path taken and resources like NVC or the above 6 seconds material or Stephens coveys work for example allow me to at least be aware that it is possible to be fully open to all these experiences without wanting feelings such as fright or sadness or uncertainty to go away. You can't get to the choose yourself or give level of emotional intelligence without the first step of know yourself.

For me part of the give aspect of all this is my role in helping others know themselves especially my daughter. I see my role as a parent to be one of support for this child that has uniquely been entrusted to me for some reason. It's my role to help her discover what gifts she has in life and to help her foster them as much as possible. My mother in law when she was born said that in Argentina there is a saying "every child is born with a loaf of bread under their arm." Every child arrives with their own unique gifts.

It's incredible how warm and connected you feel when you start asking yourself what gifts does this person have to offer me. Even a very disagreeable and difficult interaction can be seen as an opportunity to practice gifts of patience or kindness or tolerance or maybe assertiveness, taking your place, setting a limit.

I am really enjoying writing this blog and appreciate all the people who have let me know that they appreciate what I put out there.

As I was writing my course material for my new 2 hour intro to compassionate communication, it struck me that in order for nvc to add value to someones life there needs to be a paradigm shift. There needs to be a conscious re-ordering of what we pay attention to and how we choose to live our lives.

Right now I have a small child that needs my attention so until next time!