Monday, February 20, 2012
You know there are moments in life when something you have known in theory finally becomes integrated. You get it on a deeper level. You know it your mind, in your heart and in your whole being. One such moment happened to me when I was pregnant. I was feeling exceptionally happy and stable in my moods and said I think this state will go away after birth so it's not real life. At this moment gina who is one of my nvc teachers replied by saying that this moment is real life. Until that time I knew it in theory but had not realised how much time I spent away from present moment awareness. Her response helped me see how often I had missed out on moments of joy, of calm, of peace as well as moments of loneliness and fear and just how precious these moments are. Present moment awareness helps me stop and pay attention and savor this all too brief period when my daughter is so full of fun and play. It helps me become aware of both the wonderful feelings that come with me telling myself that my needs are met as well as the more uncomfortable feelings when I tell myself my needs are not met. In both cases I and most people I know can rarely get to the needs because we are off worrying about the future or the past instead of paying attention to exactly what is happening right now. Nvc frees me up to pay attention to both the comfortable and uncomfortable present moment reality because underneath it all is a human need and in the end discovering that need is always wonderful. If I am happy because I ate well then great. If I am lonely because I want more connection that too is wonderful, I can now take responsibility for that need because I know it's there. The best part is that the simple act of knowing the need exists helps somehow get it met. I hear myself say things that we typically say to children, you are just playing, or you're a big girl now as though being big is somehow better than being exactly the size you are and I love having the option to question myself without blaming myself and to commit to living my life as much as possible in the present moment. The nvc way of giving feedback is really supportive of that goal because instead of expressing an evaluation we attempt to describe what need was met. For example instead of saying wow what a big girl you are when she tries to put her pants on her head I might say I really like your determination, or that you want to learn to dress yourself. The chance to reflect upon and really integrate present moment awareness has been a blessing for me and is one of the reasons I want to teach nvc consciousness. I am thrilled that so many people have enjoy my blog and am really enjoying the opportunity to share what to me has been a life changing material.